It's become depressingly clear that needy, high maintenance Chris Hollins will win Strictly and 'simpering blowjob smile'* Joe will win X-Factor. Proof that you can never be too pathetic for reality TV. Chris just strikes me as a nightmare, the kind of man who would be suffocating to go out with. He'd always be texting or phoning to guilt-trip you into dropping your friends so you could spend all your time with him to distract him from that void of insecurity he projects around himself. And Cheryl Cole's tedious one-trick 'oooh he's like mah little brootha ah loove 'im' bullshit routine about dull Joe has really run its course now. He's like a boring John Barrowman.
Most extraordinary performance of the week didn't come from either of them, it came from Dev on Corrie, whose scat-singing/human beatbox rendition of 'Save All Your Kisses For Me' by the Brotherhood of Man (as some kind of bizarre way to celebrate winning a round of golf) was 1 part Cleo Laine, 1 part Falco and absolutely no parts sane. This TV Burp clip from years back illustrates my point:
How other actors are supposed to continue performing in a naturalistic soap style when he's off freestyling like that is a total mystery. In fact, how he ever ended up as a soap actor is a mystery. The only possible explanation is he's a stray from Twin Peaks.
* (c) Bertie Fox
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I take your 'blowjob smile' and raise you a 'three cock gob'
ReplyDeleteHow exciting to be copyrighted on here! Though I feel like a fraud commenting on blogspot when my own blog has been dormant for so very long. Hopefully that will CHANGE SOON. depasando, it's the simpering that's the main thing here, which makes it a zero-cock gob as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteHe's like someone's winsome nan body-swapped with a teenage boy in an 80s comedy film-type way.
ReplyDelete